Friday, January 9, 2015

What Not to Say to Someone Who is Suffering or Hurting

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.  - Colossians 4:6

I was inspired to write the following after reading an article in “Psychology Today.” My illness has made me the recipient of potentially harmful advice from well intended people. I thank God that I love to read and mediated on the pages of God’s Word, therefore, I am at a place where I know what to receive and what to disregard.  As  Christians, we are called to serve others. We must be helpers and not hurters to those who seek our help. Consider the following:

What Not to Say to Someone Who is Suffering or Hurting

“I know how you feel.” – You may have been through a similar situation, but you cannot get into the mind of the person you are helping. We all process pain differently. You don’t know how another person feel emotional, physically, or spiritually.

“You are not going to die. You will be okay.” – Dying is not a bad thing. The Bible says to die is gain. Victory can come through death. Don’t offer false hope for the sake of encouragement. You don’t know how God will work in someone’s life. Don’t suggest you have fate all figured out.

“If you need anything give me a call.” Most of us have probably been guilty of saying this someone in need. The statement is vague and places the burden of effort on an already burdened person. Instead, be specific. Ask questions like 1) When can I bring over a meal? 2) When can I come over to clean the house? 3) What items do you need that I can purchase to help with your life?
“You Know Your (insert family member) Loves You.” – Don’t project your healthy family experience onto others. There are adults who are products of abusive and unloving parents. This statement could be enraging.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013


People perish for a lack of knowledge. Make sure you are always reading your Bible and reading something edifying and/or related to your area of ministry. You won't grow without a proper diet. Make sure you intake spiritually healthy food for your soul.

Here's what I'm currently reading:

Monday, April 30, 2012

F.L.A.M.E.S. Teams with IMPACT ZONE to Serve the Homeless

A special thank you to all of the FLAMES who participated in Sunday's (April 29th) service opportunity at the Salvation Army. As you may have already noted, our assistance was GREATLY needed. I thank God for giving us this opportunity to be a blessing not only to the homeless, but the Impact Zone as well.

Tamekia set the atmosphere with the ministering of music followed by a powerful Word from God delivered by Odette. Pastor T blessed the food and our hands, and then we served over 100 people chicken, pork chops, pulled pork, corn, green beans, baked potatoes, pasta, bread, sliced peaches, cake, and punch.

Below is pictures in video of the event.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Pray for the new Sex Abuse Group of St. Mark

Many of you know that I give leadership to the Soul Care Counseling Ministry of St. Mark. God has directed me to organize a new ministry extension of Soul Care called the Survivors of Sexual Abuse (SSA) Support Groups. Tonight we hold our first SSA meeting. FLAMES serving in this ministry include Latonia Woods, Linda Wilson, and of course, myself. We have already completed extensive sexual abuse training and feel ready for the task.

Over the next 7 consecutive Thursdays, we will be helping those who have been sexual violated during their childhood. This is a tremendous assignment and we willingly enter into this task knowing the emotional toll it will take on each of us. Pray for our strength and faithfulness.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Annette preaching this coming Sunday

Be in prayer for Min. Annette Thomas-Jones who will be preaching this Sunday, March 25, 2012, during the 10 a.m. service at St. Mark Baptist Church. If possible, please show your love and support by attending.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Congratulations Odette

Be in prayer for Odette Woods who will be preaching her licensing sermon this Sunday, January 22. 2012 at The Church of God Priniciples, pastored by Lee Taylor.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

FLAMES gathered at Copelands for their Christmas Fellowship on Dec. 2, 2011.